Building Trust: The Key to Resolving Conflict Effectively

Conflict is an inevitable part of life. The ability to resolve conflicts effectively depends heavily on the level of trust between the parties involved. But what does it mean to trust someone? And how do we ensure that trust is not just given but also earned and sustained over time? These questions are at the heart of understanding trustworthiness, a critical concept that often gets overlooked in favour of simply aiming to "trust."

The Trustworthiness Paradigm: Shifting from Trust to Trustworthiness

Onora O’Neill, in her TED talk, encourages us to rethink trust, emphasising the importance of trustworthiness over trust itself. Trustworthiness, according to O’Neill, is about the qualities individuals and organisations exhibit that make them deserving of trust. Rather than simply asking whether we trust someone, we should be asking, “What do I trust you to do?” This shift in perspective is vital for resolving conflicts, as it helps people assess not only the capability of others to act but can also identify that there are some aspects of the other party’s behaviour that they actually do trust, rather than a blanket feeling that there is nothing to trust.

In conflict resolution, the focus on trustworthiness helps to build a more solid foundation for understanding and collaboration. Trustworthiness allows individuals to gauge not just what others are likely to do, but how they will behave over time, especially when faced with difficult situations. In turn, parties feel safe enough to engage in open communication and find solutions to problems.

Botsman’s Model of Trust

Rachel Botsman’s model of trust introduces a nuanced approach, emphasising that trust is not a one-time decision but an evolving process influenced by three main pillars: competence, reliability, and benevolence. When applied to conflict resolution, these pillars can guide how people assess the actions and decisions of others involved in the disagreement.

1. Competence: fosters trust by ensuring that all parties have the necessary skills to address the problem. If people in a conflict trust that others have the knowledge or expertise to solve a problem, they are more likely to feel confident in the resolution process.

2. Reliability: is the consistency of one’s actions. In conflict resolution, this means following through on commitments, promises, and agreements made during the process. Trustworthiness in this sense is built over time—when people see that others are reliable, their confidence grows, making them more willing to collaborate and reach a resolution.

3. Benevolence: Benevolence refers to a genuine care for others’ well-being and perspective, which is crucial for conflict resolution. When parties trust that others have good intentions, even in a challenging situation, they are more likely to work together to resolve their issues. Benevolent behaviour signals that the person is not out to undermine others but instead seeks mutual benefit, thus fostering trust and cooperation.

   
   

Frei’s Triangle Model of Trust and Its Relevance to Conflict Resolution

Francis Frei’s triangle model of trust complements Botsman’s ideas by providing another lens through which trustworthiness can be understood. Frei identifies three key elements of trust: Authenticity, Empathy, and Rigor in Logic.

1. Authenticity: means being true to one’s own values and expressing oneself honestly. During a conflict, when individuals are authentic, they show vulnerability and openness, creating an environment where others feel safe to do the same. Authenticity fosters transparency, reducing misunderstandings and facilitating trust-building.

2. Empathy: is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. In conflict situations, empathy helps individuals see the situation from the other person’s perspective, which is vital for finding common ground. By practicing empathy, people show that they care about the other party’s concerns and emotions, making it easier to navigate conflict constructively.

3. Rigour in Logic: Logic and reason are essential for resolving conflict in a fair and transparent manner. When decisions are made with rigor in logic, they are based on sound reasoning and evidence, which enhances trust in the process. Conflict originates when decisions have been perceived to be made arbitrarily or emotionally. By using logic and reasoning, trust in the fairness of the process is maintained, helping parties find lasting solutions.

Applying Trustworthiness to Conflict Resolution

In conflict resolution, asking the right questions is crucial. Rather than simply asking, “Do I trust you?” a more effective question is, “What do I trust you to do?” This reframing helps identify the specific actions and behaviours that make someone trustworthy in a given context. By reviewing the conflict through these models of Trust, individuals can create an environment where conflict resolution is approached with mutual respect, understanding, and fairness.

Ultimately, trustworthiness—not just trust—creates the foundation for meaningful and lasting conflict resolution. It ensures that all parties feel heard, understood, and valued, which is the first step toward a constructive and collaborative solution.